As we all know, sweets are an extremely important part of life. Chi-chan, the star of a series of commercials of the Japanese chewing gum company Sakeru that has completely devastated everything I thought I knew about life, believes it deeply. She and her boyfriend Tooru-san are big fans of Sakeru Gummy, a line of chewing gum "rippable" that comes in short formats and "looong". The practical, realistic Tooru-san prefers the smaller and more traditional chewing gum size. Unfortunately for him, however, Chi-chan's wishes are more … unconventional.
Over the years, many American candy companies have tried to market large portions of chewing gum to young people. In fact, many have done quite well; In the 1980s and 1990s, Wrigley used Terry Gilliam animations and rude cartoons to successfully convince children that Bubble Tape is good because older people think it is bad. But no American gum company has even come close to the emotional ecstasy and subsequent devastation of Long Long Man.
She is transfigured immediately by the length of her … chewing gum
Seated in the melody of what is surely a scam of the sexy sax-man riff of "Careless Whisper", which Sakeru could not or did not want to license, the eleven (!) Episodic commercial Discretes tell the story of The Loving and Unbridled Life of Chi-chan Start in a carefree day in the park, where she and Tooru-san enjoy small pieces of bubble gum in the sun. That is, until he sets his eyes on a mysteriously unknown man with a goatee and tuxedo named Loooong, Looooooong, Maaaaaaaaaan.
She is paralyzed by the length of her … chewing gum, and then mysteriously appears during an appointment with Tooru-san at the zoo (Long Long Man … chewing gum is as long as an elephant's trunk!), Then at his door (delivering a box of boring Tooru-san gum, with a stick from his long … chewing gum sticking out of his … delivery uniform pocket), he can no longer resist, and throws himself ( Mouth first ?!) in her soft arms and tearing the gums. This, of course, means that she must end things with Tooru-san, who is beside herself in pain. That is until Chi-chan says dramatically that she is dying, which is why "always [she looks] in long things, [she feels] assured". No logical connection is offered between death and elongated chewing gum.
Chi-chan can not resist the tricks of the long, long gumSakeru
Finally, he reconciles with Tooru-san, after a friend with a strong spatial conscience points out that many short gums equate to a long and long chewing gum, and agrees to marry him, despite being sexually pursued by elongated objects such as long and pink ears of a giant bunny whose existential terror rivals Donnie Darko's Frank.
Many, many questions remain at the end of this epicle of gum-dong saturated with gum. Why these relationships revolve almost exclusively around the chewing gum and chewing gum fandom? By "let's eat," does Chi-chan's boyfriend imply that these people depend on chewing gum for sustenance? Why does he hate chewing gum too long that he has a tantrum about it, and (b) refuses to try it to keep his lady's heart? If Long Long Man's affections really lie where it says at the end of the spiral, why did he apparently undress and chew gum with Chi-chan in bed? Did Chi-chan really fake a terminal illness as an explanation for her infidelity to the gums?
But the answers do not matter, my friends. What matters is the most powerful jingle chorus of our time: the cry of George of the Jungle, "Looooong, loooooooong maaaaaaaaaaaaan!" If you arrive halfway and you discover "Looooong, loooooooong maaaaaaaaaaaaan!" You have lost your deranged control in your soul, I beg you: trust me, and continue on this journey. Your patience will be rewarded. The sound … resonates in my mind even now, after six repeated viewings, and will probably reverberate there in the years to come. Who do I root for in this epic saga of sexual desire for gummy corn syrup? I do not know, but Long Long Man has undone me.