These gargantuan ‘headphones’ massage your ears

The SimuLife Diaries: I have my own personal Tyler Durden
March 13, 2018
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Today, in the rarity of Kickstarter, he meets Nirvana, a large wearable that resembles a hearing aid and is designed for auditory acupressure. The cups contain several round pins, which enter and leave to massage your ear and, according to the company, stimulate your vagus nerve to relieve anxiety and sleep better.
The wearable seems to have few controls on it. There is a button to mechanically move the upper pad up and down to adjust the setting, volume control (although it is not mentioned why it is there and what it controls the volume), a power button and a way to choose between its Four modes: stress, anxiety and fatigue, control cortisol levels and promote better sleep. The idea is that through the pins that massage different points of your ear, your vagus nerve will be stimulated which leads to a series of positive health benefits. (It is worth noting that the vagus nerve can be stimulated naturally simply through deep breathing and yoga).

Image: kickstarter

Acupressure is supposed to be a relaxing experience, and everything related to this helmet seems … quite the opposite. It's bulky! It has to be heavy! They show someone carrying him in bed, but basically, who will put on his helmet to fall asleep peacefully? Also, it makes noise, so much noise! In a demonstration video in the middle of the Kickstarter page, Nirvana is turned on, and there is not only a very noticeable buzz, but an audible click sound when the acupressure pins slide in and out of the cups. Maybe the sound will act as an ASMR experience? Or maybe you will only experience loud noises in your ears when the pins hit you. I do not think it's very Zen.
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If there is one thing I learned about portable technology, it is that it does not matter what the benefits are if it seems silly to your body. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why the second iteration of Google Glass has been relegated to the factories, while the new smart glasses Vaunt from Intel are more promising for everyday life because they look like … regular lenses. Even as a frequent traveler, I have never seen the ostrich pillow redesigned in real life, which is apparently much less terrible than the original version.
This person at the bottom of Nirvana's promotional video summarizes how I feel (and how I assume many others) to anyone who considers using these "headphone" elephants.

Image: kickstarter

Like any Kickstarter, there is the buyer's warning. But if you feel that a giant auricular acupressure device is exactly what you missed in your life, the anticipated price of Nirvana is $ 179 with an estimated delivery date in August 2018.

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